My Inner
by SoundlessWind
Summary: Outer's last wishes was to have Inner live out her life for her. So what if Inner is actually Sakura Haruno? And Outer is Sakura Yukimura? March 28, 145 - Death of Sakura Yukimura and on March 28, 128 - Birth of Sakura Haruno. Time-Travel. Strong Sakura!


Author's note: Hey guys! New story but this time a Naruto Fanfiction! Yipee! Anyways, on with the story!

Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto**, if I did why would I be here?

* * *

><p><strong>My Inner <strong>

I always knew that I was weak and stupid.

I may have always placed second in terms of academics next to Sasuke-kun or sometimes first when I was still a genin but it was not me. It was all thanks to Inner. It's not like I always depend on her when I study or learn some new techniques or skills but when a difficult question appears on the test, Inner would always be there. She would guide me towards the right answer. She might not say the answer directly but by giving some clues, I have found my way through the right answers. It was thanks to her that I managed to place second.

It was quite hard for me to match up next to Sasuke-kun and Naruto when it comes to ninja skills.

They were strong.

Even I know that. I don't have my own talent and skill which is understandable, considering that I came from a civilian family. I hate to admit it but even the Naruto or dumbass as everyone calls is_ stronger_ than me. They thought I didn't notice but it seems that every time Naruto gets injured, it seems that he manages to heal quickly compared to other ninjas. I also noted that when we are in a difficult situation, he always manages to save us and his eye color always switches to crimson and his pupils will become slit like that of a fox or cat.

I was young and naïve.

I may have observed my surrounding well but I didn't accept the reality of my situation. I would always belittle Naruto. Always knocking him in the head and throwing him insults. I didn't want to admit that I was the weakest.

But soon, as our sparring together became frequent I started to realize the big gap in our power. Kakashi-sensei would constantly want Naruto and Sasuke to fight each other but not me. There are times when I fight Naruto but I know that he's only going easy on me. I know because there is a different look in his eyes when he fights Sasuke. Naruto's eyes would be completely dead serious in trying to beat him but when it comes to me it would seem that his movements are sloppy and careless. I didn't want to be left out so I started seeking help from Inner and she gladly accepted my invitation.

She was always like that.

Always seemingly so happy and cheerful when I talk to her and when I ask questions from her. I didn't bother to ask why. It's not because I was afraid but it's more of I _don't necessarily care_ about her. I was really young and damn _naïve_. I don't care about anyone except for myself and my interest. I really deserved to be called 'annoying'.

I somehow knew inside of me that she will never abandon me. She will always be at my side even if the whole world turns against me. She would habitually send her charming smile at me. She was so kind. Words are not enough to describe her selfless personality. She was _perfect_, just like the kind of girl that I had always wanted to be. She was smart, kind and strong. I know everyone would wish to be her. If only she has her body and isn't stuck inside of my head, she would be the ideal kunoichi.

Time passes by, I learned a lot from Inner but my body can't seem to perform the right actions. I memorize all of the steps and techniques but I still can't perfectly execute it. Inner wouldn't give up on me. She would remain calm and teach me again. She didn't even scream and scold me even once. She would always smile and whisper reassuring and encouraging words to me.

She never gave up but I did.

I was so sick of learning something I knew I would never get.

Inner must have known I was feeling hopeless and desperate so she introduced a new but forbidden and secret way for me. It was true, I was freaking desperate to become strong so I didn't hesitate to accept her offer. Her proposal was easy. She explained that, by borrowing my body it would be her who would perform the technique, my body will become familiar and accustomed with the procedure and soon I would be able to implement it by myself.

I wasn't afraid even a bit.

I wasn't even taking in to consideration that Inner would forever control and manipulate my body.

I had put all my trust in her.

I know she wouldn't even think of doing that.

I was absolutely right.

The only thing Inner did with my body is to perform the Ninjutsu and practice Taijutsus. Her method was the best way for me to learn. I did it occasionally with the permission of Inner. She was sometimes hesitant, maybe she didn't want me to completely depend on her. But nonetheless, I always managed to persuade her. And that's the reason why I managed to walk up the tree only using my feet without my hands.

I have good chakra control but it was Inner who helped me perfect it. She thought me how to walk up in trees even before Kaka-sensei does. I was happy and grateful for what she did to help me improve. But I never once sincerely thanked her for her endless efforts. Maybe I was so prideful.

Whatever I see, it was also what Inner sees. So during our mission in the Land of Waves, she was always on the lookout. I may see my surroundings but I never took the chance of looking out for any possible threats. Just like the water puddle. It had never rained for a several days but I take no heed of it. It was thanks to Inner who informed me ahead of time but before I even have the chance to tell the others, Inner suddenly screamed worriedly at me,

**"SAKURA! BEHIND YOU!" **

Just in time, I saw two ninjas leaping out, not aiming for me but instead targeting Kakashi-sensei. I saw our sensei's being torn in to pieces by the weird weapon used by the two ninjas. I instantly regretted being weak. I knew that if it was Inner she would act so fast just in time to save Kakashi-sensei. And because of my pathetic self and can't handle the scene of seeing my sensei die in front of me, I just stood there motionless not knowing what to do next. I could only stare in wonder and amazement as Sasuke fight the mysterious ninja.

But because of that I failed to notice the other ninja coming after me. It was then when I suddenly felt like my soul is being pulled inside of my body. I knew I blank out for a while because when I opened my eyes again Kaka-sensei was there in front of me completely alive. It took me some minutes before I understood that at that moment, Inner changed in to me. She took a defensive stance and prepared to shield the bridge builder. I wasn't completely sure if it was to protect the builder or to protect _me_. I didn't choose to believe the latter.

It was impossible. I would be too arrogant for that.

I don't deserve her kindness. Whenever I don't have anything to do with her, I would just ignore and pretend she wasn't there. I would only approach her if I needed something. I know she would gradually hate me. I wasn't kind as what others would have thought me of. I was ruthless especially to her. I took her for granted but she still didn't care. It seems that she would be happy as long as I would still talk to her from time to time.

I really don't understand her thinking.

But I was really glad that she was always there for me.

But still I can't find the courage in me to thank her.

_'-Inner?' _I thought softly, wondering if she's there. I know she's there. I just want to confirm it.

**'Yes, Saku?' **Came out her cheerful reply.

_'-Uhm, tha- uh nevermind!' _ I blushed lightly but it was soon gone as I heard Kaka-sensei explaining something on how he knew that there will be ninjas who would be ambushing us. I could hear Inner just hummed a sad song in a soft voice.

I knew that it wasn't only once when Inner took over my body, there was also that time when I was facing Ino. She may have helped me drive out Ino out of my body but after that I knew I have no memories of it whatsoever. I'm guessing that it was Inner who delivered the last blow to Ino. Driving out Ino from my body that time took a toll on me thus leaving me with less chakra and I guess if Inner took Ino seriously that time, it would draw attention on me. What would they think if I suddenly became strong and have greater chakra?

In the end, I was thankful for Inner who made the last blow make it a draw for both Ino and me.

* * *

><p><strong>"I would be gone for a while. You can handle yourself now Saku. You're finally strong enough."<strong>

I had felt my heart skipped a beat and anxiety took over me. It never occurred to me once that she would leave me. I knew she was a soul and a soul could never leave a body. I panicked but didn't let it show. I slowly regain my breathing and calmly thought back, _'Hm, okay!' _I had let again my pride took over me. I didn't even question on why she was leaving for a while.

**"By the way, if you are in great trouble you can always scream in your head and I would be there instantly just like a bolt of lightning!" **She said jokingly but I can still traced a little of sadness in her voice. Maybe because I didn't even show a little bit of sorrow when she said she would be gone.

_'-I can handle myself now, Inner. I don't think I would need your help anymore.' _She was silent for a while before replying.

**"Ah. Is that so?"** Maybe I was too harsh on her. All she did was showed me kindness and compassion and yet this is how I speak to her. And with that Inner was gone.

For 3 years, I hadn't even tried to ask for her help. I didn't yell for her name in my head. Even though I was in a dire situation, I stubbornly held my head up high and look for a proper solution in my problems. I don't want to trouble her anymore. She did enough things for me already. I knew she would only be annoyed at me when she will come back. Maybe she will say horrible things at me.

_'You're already 17 years old for God's sake Sakura! You shouldn't need my help anymore.'_

_'Didn't I train you enough to be a good kunoichi?'_

_'Are you really this pathetic and weak?'_

I guess she would be saying this to me if I ever called out her name desperately. She can't always be kind to me. I know not a sane person would have this much kindness in them. There should be a limit to one's compassion.

Maybe that's one of the reasons why I didn't bother to ask for her aid when I was facing Sasori no Akasuna, a member of the dangerous criminal organization Akatsuki. I was definitely afraid; afraid of being called a disappointment and failing to reach her expectation.

I knew Inner wasn't like that but still there is something inside of my mind that can't help but be anxious about it. Leaving for 3 years could definitely change a person. One concrete example of that is my ex-teamate, Sasuke Uchiha. He was considered cold to everyone but now, he is even worst. He did horrible things. He joined Orochimaru and seeks for his power. Great power and strength that will help him defeat his brother, Itachi. He abandoned everything behind. Well, by everything, meaning his friends. I guess, for him, we were considered nothing. After all, he didn't hesitate to leave us.

He was consumed by greed. Even when I desperately persuaded him to stay, he didn't. I guess revenge weighed more rather than staying and forget about his brother who massacred his clan.

* * *

><p>I let out an exhausted sighed then stared at the clouds; the excruciating pain in my abdomen now gone. I felt completely numb.<p>

_'I guess, this is what it feels to be unappreciated, huh Inner?' _I asked rhetorically. I still haven't tried calling for Inner. Even at the brink of death, I couldn't bring myself to shout her name. I wonder why I had to think about Inner at this time. I guess I regretted everything I had done to her. I had only used her as a tool to get stronger.

I hadn't realized it until now that ever since Inner had left me, I had practically treated everyone the same. I used them as stepping stones on how to get stronger. I didn't know that they aren't like Inner who would be so willing to teach me everything she knows. I was used to Inner's attitude that I was blinded by it. I thought that everyone would be also like her.

I laughed, my voice completely croaked and broken

"I am so _fucking_ stupid."

I want to laugh so hard at my foolishness but why is it tears came out from my eyes instead? I didn't bother rubbing it away. I don't care if anyone would see me at my most embarrassing and pathetic state. I'm dying anyway. Why do I need to care? And no one would care anyways.

It was my entire fault. I deserved this.

If only I didn't become strong enough and returned Sasuke in Konoha then he wouldn't bring that girl together with him. I was so focus in training and _training _alone. I didn't even try to communicate with my other batch mates unless they would be sparring with me or they would teach me some new ninjutsus. I was under Tsunane's wing. I absorbed everything she taught me. Until the time came when, I don't have anything to learn from her anymore. After that, I stopped coming to her office anymore unless receiving a mission.

The latest and last mission I received from her was to retrieve Sasuke Uchiha. I felt no emotion stirred inside of me. I guess I became like a robot that doesn't feel anything and only follows what he or she is told. I completed the mission. _Alone_. It wasn't easy. After all, even Naruto hadn't managed to bring him back. But I finally did. I spent many months in the hospital recovering from my injuries. Maybe 5 months? Maybe even more. I lost count.

Even though 5 months may be a short time, it was long enough for me to be replaced by the girl Sasuke introduced. At first I didn't care. All I was focused was getting stronger and completing my mission. But when that girl started ruining my reputation and getting the missions I was supposed to get, how can I stay calm?

She's already interfering with my ninja career, which is all I have.

The image I had took time to build, just to be acknowledged by everyone that I'm no longer the weak girl they knew was instantly smashed by the new girl. It's not like she defeated me in a battle but by spreading false rumors the villagers believed her.

I wonder once why would she do something to that extent. I barely knew her and I didn't do a thing to her. Then it occurs to me at once that she was trying to replace me. She took the opportunity to get my place. She must have heard from Ino about me.

I hated her at first.

But my hate soon dissolved. Maybe it was better that Hanako would replace me. Maybe they would be happy if it was her instead. They didn't need me especially because of what I did to them. This is my punishment. I was ready to give up everything to Hanako except my ninja career. I would give her all my friends. But I guess that wasn't enough for her.

She wanted to completely replace me.

She wanted me dead.

So why not?

I have nothing to lose anyways.

Now, I'm just like a doll. Lifeless.

Nothing to live for.

Maybe that's the reason I didn't resist when she tried to kill me. I didn't even flinch when her dagger stabbed me in my stomach.

I wonder why did I become a kunoichi in the first place?

At first, I knew it was because I was infatuated with Sasuke-kun.

But my so-called love for him disappeared when he left the village.

Ah, I know.

I had always wanted to impress Inner.

I want to be strong for her.

I want to show her when she came back that I am no longer the little girl she always know.

I can feel my last breathe drawing near, I muster every strength and courage I have.

_'Ne, Inner, are you proud of me now?'_

I didn't expect a reply. I knew that she was long gone.

_'Inner, if you're there, I have one last request. Please live out my life for me. I know you have the power to turn back time. I always knew. I started getting suspicious when you always seem to know what was going to happen next. Even during missions, you know where the ninjas came from and when they would ambush us. I bet my life would turn out great if you are the one living it. You're the only one I can trust with this body. Please, I'm begging you. Help all of my friends achieve happiness. That's the only thing I hope for. I don't want them to become like me. Having no purpose in life is hard.' _

It was still silent. "Stubborn aren't you Inner?"

_'-Just so you know, this isn't your first time traveling back in time, ne Inner? I bet all the other me turned out like this. Even with your guidance I still turned out to be a failure. So that is the reason why I want you Inner to have this body. I bet everything I have, which is not much, that in every parallel universe there is not a single one of me who would end up happily. So Inner please, please. __**INNER!- '**_

**"So you finally decided to call huh, Saku. Took you long enough."**

_'-Hmph, shut up. So will you do it Inner?' _Even if I'm close to death, I still have the energy in me to talk to Inner like that.

**"Have I refused you before Saku?" **came out her soft rhetorical question.

_'..No'_

**"There you have it! I would be more than w-willing to follow your last wishes!" **She may sound happy but I heard a tinged of sorrow. It looks like she's holding herself back from crying. I wonder why. I never did anything good to her so why? Hmp, I guess I don't have enough time to find the answers myself. Shouldn't she be happy instead? I mean, she finally has a body of her own! Plus she can travel back time! She could even control the world since she knows what would happen in the future!

So, why?

W-why is she like this?

Hah, in the end I can't still ask her.

I closed my eyes and felt the ends of my lips tugged a little bit upward.

_'Inner - no, Sakura Haruno, thank you.' _

That was my last thoughts before I took my last breath.

* * *

><p>March 28, 145 - Death of Sakura Yukimura.<p>

March 28, 128 - Sakura Haruno was born.

* * *

><p>Author's note: Hehe, quite confusing no? Even I'm confused. I just wrote this in boredom. Maybe I was inspired? I don't know. I don't have a specific plot but I'm telling you, this is a time-travel fic. Okay for those who don't understand this first chapter, I shall explain.<p>

Inner is actually Sakura Haruno.  
>Outer is actually Sakura Yukimura or Saku.<p>

The one narrating is actually Sakura Yukimura, get it now? I shall never reveal where Sakura Haruno came from, I will tell you in the later chapters! But I can guarantee you since Sakura Haruno will be time traveling back in to the past and living out Sakura Yukimura's life for her, she will be strong. That's it. So the next chapter will start from the beginning of the Naruto series, I would follow the manga but there will be some changes. Sakura Haruno will be stronger than ever!

Anyways, thank you for reading!


End file.
